A Twisted Hearts Lover
by KC Clark
Summary: Hermione Granger has a secret she's been hiding for four years.
1. I Dream of Snape

**A Twisted Hearts Lover**

**Summary:** Hermione Granger has been harboring a secret for over four years. Now that the war for the wizarding world is over and of course, our three favorite heroes have won, what are they to do? For the past three years they have all stuck together working as Aurors (which there is still a great demand for) but something that happened back when they were at Hogwarts has roused Hermione's emotions and now has her wondering if the love she walked away from them still exists somewhere within the walls of Azkaban. And if it does how can she tell Harry and Ron that she is in love with the man they hate as much as Lord Voldemort himself?

**Author's Note:** This is my first Hermione and Snape fic so keep it nice and simple. Not sure how long this is going to be.

**Chapter 1: I Dream of Snape**

She was sitting in the dungeon room where Professor Snape had taught Potions to her so many years ago. In all truth it had only been about four or five years, she couldn't remember. But she sat there as he stood in front of the blackboard writing the days assignment up. He didn't appear to realize she was there watching him which was a very good thing. It gave her time to look at him, really look and see him for maybe the first time as a man instead of a monster.

He moved with such grace and ease it was almost like he was dancing. He was so incredibly handsome with his long hair and flowing robes that draped so carefully over his body. She'd never really taken the time to know him before. Never taken the time to observe his easy movements and his great composure. Instead she'd chosen to hate him, brush him off for so long as another pureblood, muggle-born hating bastard. But he was a half-blood, she hadn't known it till late in her sixth year at school, after he had killed a man everyone adored and loved so much. And for what, so he could get in on the good side of the Dark Lord. No one knew, no one would ever know for he was now held in the deepest pits of Azkaban prison.

Sitting here now, watching him as she was she found herself unable to think of such things. Her thoughts were turned inward toward her pounding heart as she watched him move back toward his desk. Knowing she should get up and walk away, she found herself rooted to her bench. The twinge of something in the region of her heart kept her there, the way it had so many years ago.

After he'd slain Dumbledore she'd pushed the night out of her mind, pretending it was nothing but a fluke of nature. The few nights after her chance encounter with him but it had only been her imagination as it was now.

She'd dreamed this same dream for many, many months now actually since the night after the Ministry of Magic had discovered his whereabouts and taken him away forever. It always seemed to start the same way, some where different of course, her watching him then he'd notice her and come to her never wither saying a word and after she had relived that one tender night with him she'd wake up along and in the same house she'd lived in with Harry, Ron, and almost all of the other Order members who needed a place to sleep for the past three years.

Tonight was different from all the others for this time when he noticed her he spoke. His voice sounding as though he had been screaming for a very long time or his mouth was extremely dry.

"My dearest Hermione," he spoke softly walking toward her a smile tilting the corners of his lips. "I have missed you all these years." His hand gently grazed her cheek and she could fell his skin brush hers ever so softly almost like a breath of wind.

"Oi, and I you, though I fear admitting it." His smile grew and Hermione watched as his eyes light with the same fire they had that night in the castle dungeons at Hogwarts.

"Why do you fear what you and I both know is the most real feeling you've ever felt before in you young life?" She hesitated to answer at first not wanting to destroy the beautiful image her dreams had created for her. But before she could answer he pulled her up with the slightest tug of her hand and looked deep into her eyes. "You can tell me the truth my love, you can always tell me the truth." He pressed his lips so lightly to her forehead and his hands so gently explored her back that she could not stop the tears that came rolling down her cheeks.

"It's not the feelings I fear but what would happen if someone found out about those feelings. I'm not ashamed of what we had or what I still feel. I'm not even afraid of what they'd do or say to me if they found out but of what they'd do to you Severus." She pulled back to look up at him. He stared down at her with so much love and trust in his eyes she felt her heart do a little summersault. Heavens above how she loved Severus Snape, her Potions Master and lover for a night. She looked away and blinked, more tears coming.

"Quite your tears sweat girl, the worst they can do has already been done." Her head shot straight up and her gaze locked with his. _Oh dear Lo…_ "They have locked me away and taken you from me. My heart aches so much death would be welcome if they have no plans of ever letting me out again or of letting me hold you in my arms other than when I dream." She buried her head against the solid wall of his chest and breathed. She could smell his scent, something distinctly his and could hear his steady breathing. The tears would not be quitted for her heart ached to. She missed him and though they had only shared one night and she had tried to forget it, the truth had always been right there at the surface rearing its head at night when she slept or when she sat alone with nothing or no one but her thoughts for company.

"My heart aches as yours does and I sometimes feel death would be easier to bare but I know that one day I'll get the courage up to tell the others about this but I fear it may come to late." She framed his face in her hands and watched as the smile turned into a frown but not one born of anger, no, but one born of passion and hunger. The same passion and hunger a man feels when he holds the woman he loves in his arms.

"So many years have been stolen from us already. Please understand the situation I find myself in." He raised his hands and placed them over hers that held his face. His gaze still holding that hunger and passion.

"I do Hermione, I really do. I wouldn't expect Potter or Weasley either one of understand what we found with each other that night in the castle. Neither of us were looking for anything and we found everything. Something that I for one wasn't expecting to find. At least not with a student anyway." His smile returned momentarily at the humor in the situation.

"How can you still find humor in that dreadful place?" She wanted to know. She was sure there was no way she could have.

"Well, since the Dementor's packed their bags and moved out it's not as dreary as it once was. It's more like a muggle prison." One of his hands came down and cupped her cheek raising her head toward his. She went willingly holding her breath until she felt his lips close over hers then breathing became useless.

All the years they had spent apart did not matter at that moment the present counted and if tomorrow the sun did not rise then that was simply that.

'_But this is only a dream.'_ She reminded herself as he pulled away. _'Only a silly little dream and not the real thing.'_

"I think we've talked long enough Hermione my love. You should probably wake up now and go fix breakfast for the house. Heaven's knows what'll end up on that table if you're not down there." He stepped back but held her hands tightly still. "Remember that time over the summer when you stayed with the Order and Tonks didn't know what to make so she zapped in the most massive pile of junk food any of us had ever seen." They shared a laugh and she nodded.

"Yeah, I believe I put on about ten pounds that morning and we never allowed Tonks near the kitchen again."

"I love you Hermione." He said with a heavy sigh and more than a little of his emotions made it to his voice. She jerked him back to her and after one more kiss they fell apart. She went back to her bench and he to his desk.

"I love you to Severus. I'll find a way to tell them soon, I promise." And with that Hermione was jerked out of her dream state by a loud crack and the sounds of Harry and Ron laughing while Ginny gave them both a piece of her mind.

But as she sat up her dream hit her harder than it ever had before. She brought her knees up and buried her face in the blanket that was stretched over them. Usually she didn't cry, it just felt as if she had spent the whole night being thoroughly ravished. Today however, it was different, he'd been there, she'd been able to fell his touch more profoundly. Her heart ached worst than it had in four years.

There came another loud crack and more laughter, this time more voice joined in and were again followed by Ginny throwing some very selective language at her brother and husband.

Harry and Ginny had been married since Ginny graduated two years after him. They had a wonderful relationship though it wasn't without its faults. Harry rather enjoyed his married life more because Ron was now officially his brother along with Bill, Charlie, Fred and George and he could finally call Arthur and Molly mum and dad (though he could have done that years ago if he'd wanted). Out of all of them Harry had come out this the winner. At least he'd gotten to keep the person he loved.

Deciding she couldn't put off the inevitable any longer she threw back to blanket and walked to the armoire that held her clothes. Zipping her broken heart up inside her jumper and running a comb through her hair she thought about going to visit Azkaban. No one would question what she was doing there and once she'd seen Severus and spoken with him for a few minutes she'd be able to…

'_Able to what exactly?'_ She lectured herself as she opened her bedroom door to another loud noise this one followed by everyone's laughter. _'You are never going to get the courage up to tell anyone how you feel about Severus Snape. And you're never going to find a way to make things right between him and your friends.'_

As she entered the kitchen she set to work on breakfast. Looking out the window she could see everyone standing in the backyard of number twelve Grimmuald Place gathered around one of Fred and George's joke cannons that every time you set it off something different popped out of the end. Right now a rubber chicken was chasing a rather large mean looking dog around the yard.

Shaking her head she turned from the scene and continued on with breakfast her mood grave and dark. There were several more loud cracks and suddenly everything was silent. Hermione rushed to the window and watched as a trio of owls carrying mail flew low overhead toward the open kitchen window. But only one caught her attention.

It was an Azkaban post owl, the kind that prisoners were now permitted to use to send letters to their families. It burst through the window and dropped the letter on the counter closest to Hermione while the others placed theirs in the bowl that was left by the window. The crows of people from outside came through the backdoor and watched as all the owls left.

"Whose the letter from Azkaban for?" Ron asked walking toward the bowl to retrieve the mail.

"Me." Hermione said picking up the letter that had her name clearly printed on the front. She turned it over and broke the seal pulling out a short not from Severus Snape.

TBC 

Now that you've read please review.

-KC


	2. Nymphadora TonksLupin the Wise

**Dear readers,**

**I know there was some confusion on exactly to what extent that Snape and Hermione had a relationship and if it was just that one night. Well, this chapter ought to clear that up sorry about the mess.**

**-KC**

**Chapter 2: Nymphadora Tonks**-**Lupin the Wise**

"Who's sending you a letter from Azkaban?" Ron wanted to know as he stood by the window, mail in hand but forgotten. The entire house seemed to hold its breath as she carefully unfolded the letter and read it. No one spoke, no one moved, for the first time she could remember there was complete silence in the house.

Hermione's heart raced as she looked down at the neatly printed words on the parchment. Five simple words and a signature that was all she got.

_I need to see you._

_Severus Snape._

What could he possibly want to see her now for? It's not like he had sent her a letter wanting to see her before this. Had he been having the same dreams she'd had? What about last night? Had he spent several sleepless nights thinking about her? Wondering if she was okay? Combing the Daily Prophet for a sign of her or an announcement of her marriage?

"Well Hermione, who's it from?" Remus Lupin stepped forward with Tonks close at his side, her massive pregnant belly leading the way. She felt a twinge of jealousy but quickly pushed it away.

"Ex-Professor Snape." She carefully refolded the letter and put it back into the envelope. Her heart was pounding in her ears and her mind was racing. But her mind was already made up; she was going to see him.

"SNAPE, why the blazes is Severus Snape writing to you?" Ron demanded stepping toward her chucking the pile of mail on the table where Ginny had sat down to put up her feet. She ran her hand over her stomach that was just now starting to get round. Again another twinge of jealousy settled in Hermione's chest and she pushed it out.

She quickly sidestepped Ron and raised her wand to start the dishes from the night before, not to mention the many midnight snacks Tonks and Ginny were now consuming.

'_If only they knew.'_ She thought as she watched plates, cups, bowls and other dishes jump from the sank to stack themselves neatly on the counter while the sink filled with water and soap.

"I have no idea, he wants to see me." _Keep it simple_. She told herself as she put the letter inside her jumper and turned back toward the food.

"You're not going to see him." Ron said as he lend back against the counter close to her. She paused in flipping eggs and looked at him. "Are you?" He added quickly after that drawing a round of laughter from the table behind her. Once it became obvious food was being prepared for the masses they would gather somewhere in the same general area.

"For crying out loud Ronald, leave the poor girl alone." Molly Weasley said as she and Arthur came in from the front of the house. Now it was a real party.

**HPHPHPHPHP**

After breakfast Hermione escaped to her room while the others sat with Arthur and discussed the happenings at the Ministry. Hermione, though an employee there, spent as little time there as possible, she also tried to keep herself away from office politics. Though as an Auror she had found herself the subject of more than a few Ministry meetings.

Aside from Harry, Hermione was the best Auror on Ministry payroll with Ron coming in at a strong third. They all followed their gut instinct and were smart enough to stay alive. They were great apart but together they were an unstoppable team. They always had been. Which facing up against men and women who thought they could be the next Lord Voldemort was nothing compared to the real thing.

She could barely remember the battle, if she thought hard enough she could just remember it was raining, people had been running and screaming frantically searching for lost loved ones, and flashes of light all different colors rose in the air like a sick kaleidoscope. But the aftermath she remembered well because as Harry had uttered the Killing Curse there had been a loud, high pitched scratch and then everything had turned bright. The clouds from the storm had seemed to disappear and the sun came out instantly. The heat from houses that were on fire combined with the sun made the place unbearably hot. Bodies had lay strung across the vast land, but luckily the members of the Order were all alive and accounted for. Though there had been a moment Lupin had been missing and Tonks had begun to go from body to body looking for him.

Hermione herself had gone around to a few of the bodies (those who were dressed as Death Eaters anyway) looking to see if Severus was among them. Maybe it would have been easier for the past three years if he had been. Maybe she wouldn't be feeling as if she was betraying her friends and family by entertaining romantic notions about a man who had only once really shown her any sign that he had the slightest amount of feelings for her.

_But you would have fallen apart on the spot and completely lost your mind if you had pulled back one of those masks and seen him._ She knew she would have, and then what, she couldn't' lie to her friends.

_What are you doing now?_ She questioned and took a moment to think it over. Well, she wasn't quite sure. Right now she was leaning by her bedroom window having an argument with herself about what was right for her to feel and what was wrong. And everyone thought she was the sane one.

She turned when someone knocked at the door. For the love of all things magical she hopped it wasn't Ron or Harry.

"Hermione, is everything okay?" It was just Tonks. She went to the door and opened it looking at the blue haired, smiling, pregnant woman. This Tonks was a whole lot different from the one she'd meet the summer before her fifth year.

"Hey, I noticed you'd disappeared on us. Are you aright?" Hermione stepped back to let her in and closed the door behind her. She offered Tonks a chair by the window and then sat across from her. Maybe she should try telling Tonks about Severus but what if she felt the same way about him as everyone else, which she likely did. He hadn't been the most agreeable man to anyone when he'd been the Potions Master or at anytime during the short ten years she'd known him. But then again Tonks might be able to help her. Oh boy, she was in trouble.

"Hermione I really hate to repeat myself and twice is bad but after three times I know something's up so tell me. What's wrong?" Tonks leaned forward the best she could and reached for her hand. Taking a deep breath Hermione broke and told her.

"I'm in love." At first the other woman was thrilled. Giving her hand a squeeze she said.

"I'm glad to hear that. Oh my goodness, I can't wait to meet him. Who is he? Tell me all about him." She couldn't help the humorless smile that spread across her face.

"Oh you already know him, in fact you could say he's famous. One of the most famous murder's in the wizarding world. The man who killed on of the few decent wizards there was." Tonks seemed a little stunned but said nothing as Hermione continued. "I'm in love with Severus Snape!" The exclamation was followed by silence and Hermione half feared Tonks was going to pull her wand out and hex the daylights out of her. But she didn't, apparently pregnancy played with your mind because what she said next made Hermione laugh.

"Oh, is that right. Well, good luck getting Harry and Ron to come to the wedding." It shouldn't have been funny but it was. Hermione sighed and proceeded to tell Tonks about her situation.

"It all started summer before my fifth year at Hogwarts. The day you made junk food for breakfast. Well, Snape kind of cornered me into actually having a conversation with him in the library upstairs. For the first time I looked at him and didn't see a monster or a man who thought all muggle-born were slim. He seemed so passionate and before I knew it we began to talk quite regularly, even at school but always were no one could see us. We would usually talk in his room at the castle and have tea. I didn't realize it till it was too late that I was falling for him." Hermione pause for breath and looked at Tonks who was sitting with her feet on the ottoman and a smile on her face, both hands resting on her belly. She gave a nod of encouragement and she continued felling a little weight start to lift from her shoulders.

"One night a few days before all hell broke loss we were talking, I don't remember what about, but we were sitting so close by the fire and I was watching him talk and I couldn't stop myself. I kissed him full on the mouth. Granted I'd had limited experience and very few people to compare him to but he was the best kisser I'd ever had. I knew it was wrong to kiss him like that, I mean I was his student, had been for six years. But over that year I'd began to just fall so far in love with him I didn't care. Well anyway, after I stopped kissing him he just kind of stared at me with this odd look in his eyes. And then he kissed me, I didn't know what to do but lat mature take its course. And it did, boy, did it ever. I slept with him by the fire that night until the mark called him away. Even then I knew it was over but a few days later I knew for sure." Tears welled up in her eyes and she reached to brush them away. Tonks handed her a handkerchief and watched as she openly displayed her misery. She had never been one to get emotional in front of people but she had just bared her soul to this woman. She was entitled.

It took a few minutes but she eventually put herself to rights enough to continue with her story.

"I didn't want to believe it. When Harry told me he'd killed Dumbledore it broke my heart and I tried to forget about those long talks, the accident brushes of his body and mine, and that one night with him in his room by that fire. But about two years ago I started having these dreams where I relived that night but with different settings and then last night I dreamed we were in the dungeons at Hogwarts but he didn't make love to me he just talked, he never did before. It felt so real and I woke up crying. He told me he loved me and I told him I'd find a way to tell everyone. But you're the only person I've told and them the letter this morning." She picked it up from the small coffee table that sat picked between the chairs and handed it to Tonks. She opened it up and unfolded the letter. "I have to go see him. I need to see him to. I miss him so much." The water works started again and this time she buried her head between her hands. "Oh Tonks, what am I going to do?"

Tonks waited until her sobs quitted a bit before giving her, her professional opinion.

"Well, I think if you truly love him, and I think you do, then you should go see him and tell him how you feel. Not everyone can conjure up the kind of thing you're described to me and the dreams only prove the connection between the two of you." Putting the letter back in the envelope and replacing it on the table she rose and looked down at Hermione. "Lord knows I wouldn't have gotten to Remus if I hadn't been persistent."

With that she left Hermione sitting alone by her bedroom window, her thoughts a jumbled mess. But one thing was perfectly clear she had to go see Severus.

TBC 

Hoped that cleared up some of the questions. I'm working on third chapter as you read this.

-KC


	3. OUT!

**Dear Readers,**

**This chapter may seem kind of hurried but I didn't know how else to do this part where he gets out of Azkaban. I wanted something that was emotional for Hermione and Snape but something that would clear the way for me to start writing on how Ron and Harry are going to react to finding out about their relationship so please bare with me on this and keep the reviews coming. I love to hear from you. I also wanted to know if anyone else who writes these specific kind of fanfic's felt like at first that you were writing something so incredibly wrong but it was the best thing you've ever written because that's how I feel. I know that the two of them are never going to get together but I really enjoy writing this and it's possibly the best piece I've ever written. It's kind of weird I know but keep the reviews coming and let me know what you think.**

**-KC**

**P.S. I don't own the Harry Potter characters but wouldn't that be so cool? I didn't mention that in the first chapter so I thought I'd mention it now. Not that it matters of anything. I'm just doing like everyone else and borrowing them for a while for my own amusement.**

**Chapter 3: OUT!!**

Hermione walked through the front doors of Azkaban prison and up to the guard who stood at the station.

"Hello, I'm here to see a prisoner, Severus Snape." The guard unrolled a roll of parchment and scanned the list of imprisoned persons. She waited patient. She'd learned as an Auror that being impatient got you in trouble.

"Are you here to pick him up?" Hermione blinked and shook her head. What the hell was he talked about.

"What? Why would I be picking him up?" The guard looked at her as if she had just spoken in parcel tongue.

"He'd being released." Hermione felt her breathing shallow and her heart nearly stopped beating. They were letting him out. But she thought they had given him a life sentence. Was this some kind of cruel joke?

"Are you sure?" The guard gave her an annoyed look and nodded as a door to her left opened and out stepped the man of her dreams.

They started at each other for a moment, neither spoke or moved. Hermione's mind raced as she looked at him, he had changed so little. His face still looked the same, eye still dark and skin still pale. Slowly she walked toward him watching him as she did. He followed her every movement never taking his eyes off her for a moment. She felt his gaze like a touch, he made no secret of the fact he appreciated every single curve she had gained over the past few years. He left his gaze roam freely over her body, simply watching how her body had changed.

When she stood in front of him, only inches separating them, he smiled at her and reached for her hand. A shock of electric shot up her arm and down to pool hot between her legs. Even after three years he could still turn her to mush with a single touch.

"Hello love." He said his voice sounding the same as it had last night in her dream. She felt hot tears well in her eyes and forced a breath out of her and quickly drew one back in. She smiled up at him and blinked, tears falling in small streams down her cheeks.

"Hello Severus." She said and before she had time to think or react he swept her up into his arms and swirled her around kissing her passionately. The guard who had been watching them turned away quickly and hurried off down the hall to give the two of them some privacy. He obviously didn't want to be a witness to anything intimate between the two of them.

"Are they really letting you out?" She asked when he sat her back on her feet and laid his forehead against hers. He nodded and captured her lips again.

"Yes, the Minister came yesterday and told me I could have my freedom in exchange for information. I couldn't stop myself from giving them what they wanted. They were going to give me back my life and all I had to do was tell them what I knew. It's quite a deal actually." Hermione buried her head against his chest and wrapped her arms around him. She was getting the man she loved back. It was the most amazing felling in the world.

"I can hardly believe you're real." She pulled back and looked at him. He had changed so little, there was not a line on his face that she didn't recognize or a sparkle in his eye that she hadn't seen before. "I dreamed about you so often. I always relived that night with you at Hogwarts. After what happened…you know, with Dumbledore, I tried to put you and that night out of my mind but it just wouldn't go away. I didn't want it to. I loved you so much and I still love you. Oh God, I can't believe I'm saying this to you." She buried her head against his chest again and snuggled against him. God, it felt so good to hold him after all these years.

"I know love; it feels so good to hear you say it though. I've been waiting for you to say that for so long. And to hear it now, when everything is going to be okay, it makes my heart beat again." He placed her hand over his heart and pulled back to look down at her. She was so beautiful he wanted to cry. "Feel, that. It's my heart beating for you." Tears came pouring down her cheeks again and she pressed a kiss to his lips.

"I didn't think I'd ever get the chance to be held by you again." She whispered laying her forehead against his and breathing him in.

"I didn't think I'd ever get the chance to hold you again. It scared the hell out of me." She laughed and pulled back taking a hold of his hand she began to pull him toward the door.

"Come on lets get out of here." She suggested as they reached the threshold and he pulled her back around. His face suddenly very serious. 

"Hermione, I know things are never going to be _okay_, between us but I want to try for at least half way normal. I know that I've done some terrible things in the past and that…" Hermione laid a finger over his mouth and shook her head.

"It doesn't matter Severus. What's in the past is in the past. I don't want to go back to the way we were, I want to have an open relationship with you, one that I can tell my family and friends about. Granted that Harry and Ron probably aren't going to be that thrilled about it but at this moment I really don't care. I have you back and that's all I need, all I'll ever need in the whole world." This time tears did cloud his eyes and she felt her heart squeeze at the sight.

"I don't deserve the happiness you can give me." He said bringing her hand up to his lips and kissing her knuckles one at a time. Hermione shivered but remained standing upright.

"You deserve all the happiness the world can give you." Standing on tiptoe she pressed a kiss to his cheek and pulled back jerking her head toward the door. He nodded and they started off out the door again, hand in hand.

**TBC **

**Short I know but I promise chapter 4 will be up before long.**

**-KC**


	4. My Love Will Go On And On

**Chapter 4: My Love Will Go On And On**

Hermione Granger looked over across the room at the man who had just stepped out of the bathroom. He had a towel around his waist and nothing else. She felt a little tickle of longing in her lower belly. She sat on the bed Indian-style the blankets thrown down at the foot of the bed and twisted her hands nervously as he crossed the room toward her.

It had been a long time since she'd been with a man and even then it had just been Severus and one time with Ron a few years after Severus. Severus was a much better lover than Ron. But he'd tired and Hermione had derived some pleasure from the very awkward intercourse.

But the closer Severus got the more nervous she became. What if she wasn't good enough? What if he didn't like how her body looked now? Did he still like to have her run her fingers through his hair as she came or would he want her to be a little more submissive? The worries faded slowly as he climbed into the bed with her and sat behind her. Wrapping his arms around her he pulled her back against him and buried his face in her still bushy hair. He breathed in her scent before releasing her and smiling at her.

"Don't worry about anything I still love you." She felt her heart flutter as she looked into his black eyes. He was always good about reading her mind, it had only been physical that one time but he had always known what she'd wanted and what would please her.

"I'm just wondering how best to seduce you." She said turning around to face him on her knees. She placed her hands on his shoulders and looked deep into his eyes. He smiled and placed his hands over hers rubbing his fingers over her knuckles gently. She smiled leaning in to press a kiss to his lips. He opened his mouth in invitation for her to deepen the kiss and she did.

"I've missed you so much." She whispered pulling back to catch her breath and lying her forehead against his. He ran his hands over her back inching her shirt up and burying his hands under it to touch the bare skin of her back. She sucked in a breath when he found the clasp of her bra and undid it. Her breast swung free and he jerked the shirt and bra over her head throwing them on the floor. She smiled as he looked down at her breasts. They weren't big but they weren't small either, they were perfect.

"You've definitely grown into your skin I see." He said looking up at her as she ran her hands down his chest and tugged at the knot in his towel. She raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, I wasn't aware my skin was too big for me." She bent forward and whispered in his ear. "I didn't hear you complaining when you saw me naked the last time." He brought his hands up and caressed her breasts.

"I'm not complaining and you never will hear me so much as peep a complaint about your body. I love you just the way you are. I loved you the way you were to." He said pressing a kiss to her neck, feeling her pulse jump under his lips. She brought her hands up and cupped his face pulling it up to hers for another kiss. She moved forward till she was straddling his hips, her hands moved down his front to the erection that was standing at half-mast. She took it in her hand and stroked it carefully. She knew it had been a while for him; it had been four years for her. She pulled back when he was fully erect and slid herself over him. He groaned and reached down for her hips slowing her down slowly before bringing her to a complete stop. She stared at him and he smiled at her.

"I want to take my time with you Hermione. I want to savor ever moment of this. It's only the second time we've been together and the first time was a little hurried so let's slow it down and try to take it last." She nodded her understanding. She wanted to savor the feeling to but they had all night and the rest of their lives to take it slow. But this was for him; she'd have given her soul to the devil to make his wishes come true.

"If that's what you want," she said rolling onto her back and holding her arms out, "then take all the time you want." She watched as he rolled over to her and lay down on top of her. She felt the steady weight of him, it was incredibly delicious. He started at her mouth, kissing her thoroughly before working his way down to her neck and even farther toward the twin mountains of her breasts. She sighed as he circled her with his tongue and almost climaxed when he took her nipple in his warm mouth.

He worked her until she was squirming beneath him. She raised her hips trying desperately to tell him without words what she wanted but he wasn't finished with her yet. Moving from her breasts he worked his way down her body toward the thatch of dark hair between her legs. Stopping at her belly button he circled it with his tongue before continuing on. The scent of aroused female rose up to greet him and he breathed in the scent hungrily.

Pressing an open mouth kiss on her pelvis bone she brought her hips up and opened her legs wider in invitation. He accepted greedily. He ravished her with his mouth, his fingers digging into the skin of her thighs. She came apart quickly, panting and moaning his name.

"Severus, please, now, I need you so bad. Please, take me now." He climbed back up her body stopping to press teasing kisses on her skin. He stopped when he was level with her face and kissed her deeply.

"I love you Hermione." He said sweetly as he looked down into his lovers face. She smiled up at him and touched his cheek, running her hand over the smooth skin.

"I love you to Severus." She whispered bringing his head back down and pressing a kiss to his lips. The tenderness of it made his breath catch and his heart tighten in love.

He moved himself between her legs and found her opening as easily as if they had made love a hundred times before instead of just once four years ago. She moaned at the feeling of being filled with him. He filled her perfectly, to max and then just a little more but the pressure of his length was welcome. It was a feeling she'd wanted for four years to feel again.

He moved his hips slowly setting a pace that she quickly picked up and followed. He picked up the pace a little when he felt her start to squeeze him tighter and her breathing became heavier.

"Oh gods Severus. This feels like heaven." She moaned as she dug her fingernails into his sweat slick back. He welcomed the pain, it was a delicious feeling. She was delicious; every part of her fascinated him as he stared down at her body.

It didn't take long for her to cum and he followed suit soon after. They lay together after words, snuggled in the comfort of each other arms. Snape stroked her back as Hermione laid in the circle of his arms simply breathing in his scent.

"I missed you so much." He whispered to her, she looked up at him and smiled. "I thought about you every night I was in that dreadful place. I wanted nothing more than to get a passing glance of you again. I remembered you birthday and thought about writing to you but I knew that you might be mad about Dumbledore so I didn't. I can't tell you how many times I would look the Daily Prophet over for your picture or something about you. I found a picture of you one day and an article about you're becoming an Auror. You don't know how proud I was of you sweetheart." She felt tears sting her eyes and blinked rapidly to keep them from falling.

"I thought about you to. I was mad at you for Dumbledore but I found out later why you did it and I wasn't okay with it but I understood. You couldn't break your vow. No matter how much you wanted to, that's why they call it an Unbreakable Vow."

"I never thought you'd happen to me Hermione." He brought up one long finger and stroked her cheek softly. She smiled and reached up taking a hold of his hand and pressed her lips to his palm. There was a long thin scare across the surface from his fight with the Auror's that'd caught him. She'd seen it, relived it several times before in her mind.

"I wanted so bad to make them stop when they came after you. I wanted to tell them that I loved you but I knew that it wouldn't make a difference so I just kept my mouth shut and my head down. Like a coward. I've read books, muggle and magical about woman sticking up for their men and I just let them have you, without fighting for you." She felt anger she hadn't known existed rise up and catch her around the throat.

"Hermione, you would have done something if you could but there was nothing you could do. I made my bed and I had to lay in it. I was more than deserving of what I got, I'm not the perfect man you seem to have made me out to be in your mind." She sat up straight and pulled the sheet up to cover her. Staring down at him she looked hurt and confused.

"I don't think you're perfect. I also know that you've done things that I don't want to know about but I love you and I should have done something more for you." She got up and began to search for her clothes. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and draped the sheet over his lap as she pulled her panties on and looked around for her pants and shirt.

"What are you doing?" He asked as she rounded up her shirt and bra. She slipped them over her head. She stopped and looked at him.

"I'm getting dressed, I'm going to meet with Harry and Ron and the other Order members. They have to know that you're out and I think I need to explain myself to them." She said turning looking for her pants which didn't appear to be anywhere in the room.

"You don't have to explain yourself to anyone Hermione." He said reaching down and picking up her pants holding them out to her. She looked at them before she grabbed them and shimmed into them. "And further more, I'd say that the Order probably already knows that I'm out and are on their way here to kill me in person." No sooner were the words out of his mouth than there was a knock on the door.

Hermione froze in fear and shock. If that was any of the members from the Order she was dead meat. If it was Harry or Ron then she was definitely going to have to spend the night in a hotel room somewhere.

"We know you're in there Snape." It was Harry.

"My day just keeps getting so much better by the minute." Hermione started toward the door. What was the use in hiding it? She'd been about to go charging into number twelve Grimmuald place and confess all her sins, this just saved her a trip. She turned the door knob and came face to face with almost every member of the Order she could think of and some people she didn't know.

"Well, if twos company and threes a crowd what do you call an angry mob who just found one of their members with the enemy." Snape asked from the bed where he sat, still naked looking over his shoulder at the people.

"Hermione." Harry said looking at her she had to look away. There was so much hurt and anger in his eyes that she couldn't stand to look at him.

"What the hell is going on here?" Ron demanded stepping forward and looking over at Snape. "WHAT IN THE BLOODY HELL WERE YOU THINKING HERMIONE?" He screamed looking as if he might jinx her. Her head snapped up and the guilt she'd felt flooded away.

"What was _I _thinking? What the fuck are you talking about? It's none of your business anyway and I don't see what my being with Severus has to do with anything. We all know why had killed Professor Dumbledore, we all know why he couldn't go back on the vow." She flung her arms up in the air and started to pace back and forth. "What does it matter? I LOVE HIM." The last part was meet with silence and she stared at Ron who looked as if he might fall over while Harry dropped his wand and had to lean on Ginny for support.

She stared back at Snape who was now standing up with the sheet from the bed wrapped around him.

"Well, I don't know about you lot but I could use a drink." He looked at Hermione and winked but she simply stood there looking at him and thinking to herself.

_Oh Gods Hermione, what have you done now._

**TBC???**


	5. The Worst Kind Of Love

**Chapter 5: The Worst Kind of Love**

Hermione looked away from Severus and toward the group of people who stood on the other side of the threshold.

"You can't be serious?" Harry asked looking between the two people in the room. He watched as Hermione closed her eyes and rubbed a hand over her face. He could see the desperation in her face as she did so and he felt his heart squeeze in his chest. He might have been angry and he might have hated Snape as much as he hated Lord Voldemort but his love for Hermione was more powerful than his hate. He couldn't believe that she could love the greasy hair git.

"I'm very serious. I've loved him since…well, I'm not really sure what day I started loving him. But I do and I…I'm sorry if you don't like it but I can't stop loving him just because you don't like him." Tears welled in her eyes as she stared out at the people. Her eyes caught Tonks' and she smiled her encouragement. The rest of the group just stood there and looked at her and Snape. "I'll understand if you want me to move out but I'm not going to stop seeing him." The words tumbled from her lips with ease. She watched as Harry shook his head and Ron just stood there his mouth on the floor and his eyes wide.

"No, you can stay if you want to but I don't want him in my home." Ginny who had remained silent the whole time suddenly walked through the door and toward Snape. He froze when she was standing in front of him her large belly making him smile. So Potter had succeed in getting the only Weasley girl pregnant, how precious was that? He watched as she placed one hand on her stomach and held the other one up. For a moment he thought she might smack him but instead she extended it to him. He reached forward and took her hand in his shaking her hand. Potter looked like he was about to tell him to get away from her but he stopped and watched.

"It's a pleasure to see you again Professor. Though I must admit that I would have liked it to be under more agreeable circumstances and preferably when you were dressed in more than a bed sheet." This got a few giggles and chuckles from the group outside the door. He nodded but didn't move or say a word other wise. "You'll be good to our Hermione or else, do I make myself clear?" The words caught him off guard and he smiled down at the short pregnant woman. She was beautiful, but he guessed things like a pregnant woman usually were. It had always amazed him how life affirmed life with a pregnancy. He'd never wanted children of his own, thinking that all children were spawns of the devil and gods only knew how he'd wound up teaching them. But the sight of a woman round with child had always been the most elemental kind of beauty to him.

"I promise to be good to her." He looked over at Hermione who was twisting a lock of her brown hair around her index finger. Snape's eyes were drawn down to her stomach and for the first time he wondered what it would be like to see her baring a child, his child. The thought shocked and amused him as he turned his attention to Potter and Weasley who were standing on the other side of the door. He wished that they would go away but he also wished he could have made them understand why he'd acted the way he had all those years when they'd been in school.

He hadn't really hated them, just disliked their disregard for the rules and their nosy tendencies, especially Potter's. Though now that he thought about it they hadn't really been nosy just…curious and bothersome.

"Well, I think we should leave and let you two get on with whatever you were doing before we arrived." Ginny said as she stepped away from him and walked back toward her husband and the others. She pushed against Ron's jaw to close his mouth.

"Honestly, Ron you're sucking up all the air in the bloody room and if you don't close your eyes you're going to poke one out." She snapped as she walked past everyone toward the stairs. Harry turned and walked after her and many of the people followed. Snape came to stand behind Hermione as she watched everyone leave, everyone but Ron.

"Do you honestly love him?" The words came out in such a rush Snape was surprise she had picked up on them.

"Yes, Ron I do. I'm sorry but I've loved Severus for a very long time. I'll never love anyone else the way I love him." The boy nodded and turned walking off after the rest of the group leaving the standing alone in the open doorway. People walked by and stared at the two of them but no one said anything. Snape became increasingly aware of how this must look and pulled Hermione back inside the room and closed the door.

"I can't believe they came here." As soon as the door was closed the words came out and caused Snape to pause.

"I can. I told you they already knew and were coming here to kill me. If you hadn't been here they would have." She watched as he walked to the side of the bed and picked up the phone. He ordered a bottle of wine and some food but Hermione wasn't paying any attention to the words he was saying. She watched him move through the tasks as if they were normal and everyday. By all outward appearances Severus didn't look like a man who had been in a prison for four years but like a man who had just returned for a long trip to places unknown.

Her heart swelled as she watched him hang up the phone and stretch out on the bed. Smiling he reached out to her and she went to him gladly. Stripping her clothes as she went she watched as his smile turned into a smirk and when she reached the bed he grabbed her around the waist and flipped her over onto her back.

"I love you Hermione." He whispered as he kissed her softly and held her close against him. Tears leaked down her face as she stared up at him. She buried her head against his shoulder as he pressed kisses to every part of her he could reach.

"I love you to, so much." She said as he rubbed himself against her and she felt him hardening against her. Slowly she ran her hand down his body and wrapped it around his cock. His smirk died on his lips and was replaced by pleasure as she worked him carefully. She pressed a kiss to his pulse and watched as he tilted his head a little to the side.

"I want you again." She whispered in his ear as she removed her hand and pressed against his shoulder to roll him over onto his back. He nodded and she slowly lowered herself onto him throwing her head back as pleasures she hadn't felt in four years rocked her body.

Tears welled in her eyes as she rocked on him and he gripped her hips. They were tears for the years they had lost and tears for the ones that were yet to come. Tears for the man she had lost and the one she had found again in the depths of his prison. They came together with twin cries both laying afterwards with silent tears rolling down their cheeks. Neither moved or said a word until room service came and then they ate and drank the wine before making love again and falling asleep wrapped in each others arms.

**TBC????**

**I don't really know where to go with this story or any of my others for that matter. I'm losing my touch again and I just got it back a few weeks ago. I'm so sorry but this is going to take a while, my muse has left me and I don't know what to do to get it back. Please be patient and review.**

**Thanks,**

**KC**


	6. Redeeming Severus Snape

_**6: Redeeming Severus Snape**_

_Three months later…._

Hermione was humming as she walked through the door of number twelve Grimmauld Place her arms loaded down with brown grocery bags. She had just came in from work and stopped off at the grocery before coming home. Though she still lived here most of the time, many of her nights were spent at Severus family home Spinner's End. She had never seen a place quite like it. Once all the years of dirt and grim had been cleared away she had found that it was quite a charming place to live or just spend the night.

She and Severus had discussed her moving in with him on several different occasions but she had wanted to stay with the rest of the group for a little while longer until Tonks and Ginny had had their babies then she'd move out to make room for them. Not that Harry was pushing it. If anything he was trying to convince her to stay more than he had when she'd first moved in.

'You don't have to leave 'Mione. You know that. We have plenty of room here without you moving out. And besides you can help out with the babies and stuff more if you stay here.' He had told her only the night before after dinner when they had been washing dishes together. She had simply smiled and shook her head.

She wanted to move out and be with Severus full time. After being away from him for four years she wanted to spend as much time as possible with him. She knew that no matter what Harry and Ron would never fully understand her love for him. She had never planed on really telling them about their relationship but she was glad that finally the truth was known.

"I don't believe I agree with you." The voice of Severus Snape floated through the closed kitchen door. Hermione nearly dropped her bags and felt her breath catch. Severus was here, in the house. Harry was going to have a fit.

"I would have to say that he is quite right." The voice of the last person Hermione had ever expected to hear floated through next. Harry sounded slightly amused and slightly stressed at the same time. It was difficult for her to hold inside the scream she felt rising up inside of her. If Harry had allowed Severus into his home then things couldn't have been as bad as she thought. Surely if Harry hadn't wanted Severus in his home then he wouldn't be there. But if Ginny had been around then she would have insisted that he be polite and listen to what the other man had to say. But if that were the case, then why did he sound amused? What was he agreeing with Severus on? The two of them had never agreed on anything.

"Well, if that's really how you feel then I don't see why this shouldn't work out for everyone involved." The voice of Minerva McGonagall floated through next and the woman sounded less than pleased. She had never known McGonagall to be rude or overly sarcastic but the one sentence Hermione had just heard her utter sounded as if it had been forced from her lips.

"Than I will start tomorrow Headmistress?" Severus asked and Hermione felt her heart thump hard against her ribs. What in the world was going on?

"I don't see why not." Was all that the Headmistress said before she rose and Hermione heard the sound of the back door opening and closing a bit harder than necessary.

The slammed door was followed by complete silence and Hermione found herself holding her breath, waiting for one of the two men to say something or someone to come out of the kitchen. There was nothing for a long time and Hermione could almost feel the tension between the two of them through the door. She raised her hand and was about to push the door open when Severus spoke.

"I want to thank you Potter for helping me convince the Headmistress that my return this fall would be beneficial to the school." He said and Hermione heard the sound of a chair scrapping the stone floor and heavy footfalls as if someone was walking across the kitchen. There was a grunt for a response but nothing else. "Minerva would never have agreed to it had you not thought it a good idea." Severus sounded almost as if he were trying to keep a conversation going with the other man in the room. Hermione knew Harry well enough to know that the boy and the man inside him both hated Snape in more ways than anyone could ever imagine. She also knew that Harry would do what was best for Hogwarts School and he would have been quick to agree that returning the former Potions Master to his position would benefit the school greatly. They were making do with temporaries as it seemed no one could hold down the position for very long. The Potions position had became much like the Defense Against the Dark Arts position had once been. Harry had managed to convince McGonagall that she should give the position to Bill Weasley who was now living in England again with his family. The man seemed to be enjoying the challenging position and was thriving. He had been able to hold down the position for four years now which was more than could be said for many of the Professors that Hermione, Harry and Ron had had.

"I merely did what I thought would benefit the school. Nothing more and nothing less." Harry no longer sound amused or stressed but his voice was cold and emotionless. Hermione felt her heart break slightly in her chest. She had had such high hopes that somewhere deep inside of Harry he didn't hate Severus as much as she had thought. But a last she was wrong.

"Of course. I just wanted to say…thank you for believing that it would benefit the school." Severus sounded as if he was trying to control his own hatred for the boy and the man that Harry had become. Hermione sighed and reached up to push open the door when Severus continued and made her stop in mid-shove. "I spent four, almost five years in Azkaban for killing Dumbledore and everyday I kicked myself for the way I acted toward you, Mr Weasley and most of all Hermione. I know that I can't take back all the things I said and did but I do want you to know that I'm sorry for everything. I never should have blamed you for your father's actions when we were in school. And I never should have shoved all the hatred I felt for your mother choosing your father over me off onto you. You are a great man Harry Potter and I admire you greatly for all that you've done." Once again a stressed silence filled the room. Hermione's heart was beating as fast as it had ever beaten before and tears stung her eyes.

She could hardly believe the words she had just heard. The things that Severus had said to Harry she knew would mean something to him. All Harry had ever wanted was for Severus to realize what a git he was being and say that he was sorry. Harry was never one to hold a grudge against someone if they realized their mistakes and tried to redeem themselves. When Harry finally spoke his voice was even and without emotion but Hermione knew that it was a step in the right direction.

"Thank you for you kind words and your apology. They are greatly appreciated." He paused and Hermione heard him draw a deep breath before continuing. "I'm not going to say that I forgive you or am I going to act as if you are my best-mate. I will however treat you with respect and say that you are welcome to visit my home and my family anytime you like. Put I am warning you, if this is some kind of trick you will regret it. I don't want to see Hermione hurt because you are plotting something to get back at me."

"I would never hurt Hermione intentionally and I promise you that I have no ulterior motive in apologizing to you or saying any of the things I have just said. I just want us to be able to come to an understanding so it will be less of a stress on Hermione. She doesn't say it but I know that she feels as if she is going to come to a point where she must choice me or you and I don't want that to happen because honestly…I think she would likely choose you over me. You have been her friend since she was eleven, I've been nothing to her until four years ago when I became her lover for a night and then the next time she saw me I was a murder." Tears that she had been trying to hold back fell from her eyes as she stood there, her arm still lying against the cold wood of the door throbbed from the lack of blood flow. Gods he really understood her better than she did herself. "I think we can both see why she'd choose you over me."

"That and I'm so much better looking." The words came out and Hermione heard the amusement in Harry's tone. He was cracking a joke. He actually had the gall to crack a joke when Severus was saying things that were so sweet and kind. Oh, she was going to kill Harry Potter when she got into the kitchen. But before Hermione could think of a proper curse that would suffice to punish Harry with there was the sound of laughter from both men. Harry's laughter was deep and heartfelt and Severus' sounded as if it hadn't been used in quite sometime. The tears came harder as she pushed open the door and dropped the grocery bags on the floor racing forward and throwing her arms around Severus.

The two were shocked at her sudden appearance but neither of them had time to say anything before Hermione reached up and cradled Severus' face between her hands.

"You are a sweet and wonderful man. I love you so much." She said between sobs and pressed a wet kiss to his cheek before burring her face in the front of Severus' black robes. Though several things had changed about him he had refused to wear any other color but black. He looked up at Harry who was leaning against the stove and the younger man shrugged before pulling his wand out and waving it at the fallen bags of groceries. Instantly the bags leapt up from the floor and onto the table. The contents began to put themselves away with another flick and the man didn't even have to move.

Hermione's sobs finally began to silence and he pulled back slightly to look down at her red cheeked tearstained face. Her pretty brown eyes that he could have stared into for hours were bloodshot and the skin around them puffy and he brought his hand up to whip at the last of the tears that were streaming down her face.

"What brought this on?" He asked watched as she grabbed the front of her robes and used them to whip away the tears. Pulling out his own wand he gave it a quick wave and produced a handkerchief and handed it to her. She took it and blew her nose before handing it back to him. He held it between two fingers and quickly waved his wand to make it disappear. He had never been good with female tears. He hated to see a woman cry and he seldom knew what to say or do in any case. He looked at Harry for answers but the boy just shook his head and turned to leave.

"All those things you said to Harry. About admiring him and being sorry for how you treated us in school. I was standing outside the door and I never meant to listen but I did and I just think that it's the sweetest and most wonderful thing that you've ever done. Oh," she sighed and wrapped her arms around him once more burring her head in his chest.

"I think she's finally cracked Professor Snape. Enjoy." Harry joked and with a smile left the two alone in his kitchen. He would never have thought in a million years that he would openly joke with Severus Snape and he'd never thought that he would defend the man to Headmistress McGonagall either. But he found himself doing both things today.

The words that the man had said to him rang in his head as if there was someone up there with a hammer hitting a bell that every time repeated them over and over. He would not tell Snape he was forgiven and he would not act as if he could just forget the seven years of hell that he had put him through. But he would be civil with the man and he would respect him. And he knew that since Hermione had obviously heard him give Snape an open invitation to visit Grimmauld Place he could expect to see his ex-Potions Master around often.

And Harry really didn't mind. Not at all. Turning the corner into the sitting room with the Black family tree on the walls he wondered where Ginny had gotten off to. She'd been in here reading awhile ago when Snape and McGonagall had arrived. He would have to hunt her down before she got herself into trouble. Gods love his poor little pregnant wife. She was going to be the death of him before the baby was even born. He could just see the headlines now: _**The Great Harry Potter, Only Known Sirvivor Of The KillIing Curse, Killed By Pregnant Wife Ginny Weasley-Potter.**_

He heard the sound of Ginny's voice from high above his head shouting profanities the likes of which her mother would likely wash her mouth out had she heard her using them. Even if she was married and having a baby. With a smile on his face and a spring in his step Harry started toward the attic where he knew that his little wife was.

**THE END!!!**


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